Processing the visit to Cuba

    It really takes a lot of time to process our visit to Cuba! And not only in my mind, but literally. I have to go through over 1600 pictures taken there. I was scared to delete them (until it was an obvious non-keeper) - what if I throw out a baby?  (Is there such expression in English - to throw a baby with dirty water?).
Now I am going through all the pictures, checking them, sorting out, organizing files - a lot of work and time consuming too.But it's kind of pleasant. Though I always have that guilt - may be I should be doing smth. around the house, useful... Thank you to my husband - he tolerates me being  stuck in the computer; even more, he is doing cooking, shopping, etc. And he is the one who has to drop everything whatever he is doing at the moment and run to see what I am screaming at and about, because that's the way I react at smth. I like in my pictures.

I have to say that some of them I really like. I posted two on photo.net.com and got really nice feed back.It helps with my self confidence, which really needs a boost. So, here are those pictures....

After taste of vacation in Cuba

     We are back. The vacation was great! It was the first one, real, within 12 years. It gave us that chance to be ourselves, enjoy very normal and regular things - each other, food, drinks, sun, water, fresh air... What else, if you think about it? We didn't see people texting, but  talking, laughing, enjoying coffee and  a quiet moment. I had a thought that all this  will be taken away from us if we keep obsessing about updating our " means of communication". I am afraid the damage is done already. Our kids cannot enjoy nature as it is. The only shade of blue they know - it's "monitor blue", they have 400 friends on facebook and nobody to go to movies together....Sad.
     So we enjoyed it all! But it was a resort, it's supposed to be enjoyable. And it's most of the time very impersonal - Dominican Republic, Cancun, Jamaica... What about Cuba?My feelings? The only taste of real  Cuba I had - taste of Havana. Impression? Very mixed. I wish I could be there, on the streets, in the evening. See people coming from work, shopping on there way home. I would like to eat their food, listen to their conversations, to know weather thy are happy with life they chose to have, to understand... The architecture is beyond believe! I was in Vienna, in Barcelona, in Warsaw and St .Petersbourg. I saw old buildings and old parts of cities. It's different.
Time stopped in Havana.I felt myself too much of a tourist with a camera! It was almost not real, like coming back in time. I think I couldn't concentrate on architecture, see beauty of it, because people around were so poor, asking for money. No they didn't beg. They wanted to do smth. for you - to show the way, to sing a song, to pose for a picture... The guide didn't talk about people's life, their needs.... Knowing communist system I didn't want to ask...I was lost in feelings. I was proud that they were free and independent, but seeing how much they were behind  felt so bad.  That's why I did really well with the pictures of the ocean, trees, pelicans.... And had in mind street photography, smth. I could show if not to the world, to my friends.... It didn't happen....
I am not sure, what pictures to upload. I have to look through them once again....

Evening before our first visit to Cuba

What are the feelings? A salad. A bit of everything. Worries about my baby daughter (she will always be a baby), that stays home alone for the first time. I hope it will help her to get that feeling of self satisfaction from being on her own - it comes to all of us some day some how. Interest - I am going to meet a lot of new people, to see new life, new landscape, new culture. Nostalgia - I remember my childhood, Cuban revolution, worried parents that another war will happen;  me, never sent because of this to some very good summer camp just because it was far from home;  my friend Igor, a shy boy, whom I teased by singing a famous song "Cuba, my love" with "Igor" instead;  not enough bread because we were helping Cubans. Nervousness , because I dream (who doesn't?) to take that killer picture but understand, that it usually doesn't happen when I want it so much...Finally, it's just a vacation! It should be a vacation. With  heat, blue water, palm trees, music, parties - time to forget  the age, the worries, the past and the future. Time just to STOP and finally breath out.

It will start tomorrow. As for today, it was a beautiful sunny morning here in Toronto after a big snow storm that never really happened .And I had to take pictures, just anywhere, just to have some release...

Why one day is different from the ohter?

        Some times, falling into philosophical mood, I would think : why one day is different from the other (if you are not in a prison, locked in a cellar, of course)? If something not good happens we would think: tomorrow is another day.And it is. No matter what. Today, out of blue, I put it on my calculator: if  I am to live for 75 years - all is left about 6570 days.Not much, really. But the thought that all of them will be different, kind of warmed my heart. It makes sense now that we have to do our best to make every day fun, interesting, rich - memorable. Or at least not to fill it in with misery , other bad stuff. Actually, it would be interesting to take at least one picture, that could sum up that day, 365 days,  and then to look at those pictures.. . What a collage could happen! Full of events and emotions. Thrilling! Nobody tried it yet? Could be a great project! May be that what Vivien Mayers was doing?

Anyways, it's late and tomorrow will be different - it's all over TV and Radio -SNOW STORM IS COMING TO TORONTO. Wow, smth. really new... I'll take my camera to work tomorrow.